I've blown a few things in my day
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
