why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
