You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
