Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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