I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
