We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
