but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
