"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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