to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
