If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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