You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You smell like stripper and shame
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
