you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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