Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Randomize
