Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
