I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
