Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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