Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
