i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
D3 body, D1 cock
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
