New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
