Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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