So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
