saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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