ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
