i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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