Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
