people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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