9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
