belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Randomize
