so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
