i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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