Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
