I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
