for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
