Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
