You just made me feel so damn special
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
