someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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