Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
