Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
