I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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