she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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