glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
