Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
