I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Less talking, more tequila
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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