Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
