Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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