I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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