No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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