there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
