Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
