Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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