I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
