Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
