if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
