I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
