does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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