I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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