if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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